I am writing today on a subject that came to me through an alarming news article on CBS News, a few years back. A woman has decided to tie "the knot". Nothing too unusual about that, right? Well, in this article, Erika Anderson, a 37-year-old from Brooklyn, New York, planned a formal ceremony with a white dress, flower bouquet, and walk down the aisle. Only, no one was waiting for her, and that was just the way she wanted it. Anderson says she grew tired of people asking why she was still single, so in front of friends and family, she married herself! Self-marriage, or sologamy, is growing, partly because it's popping up in pop culture! The movement has gone global, and companies are trying to capitalize. "Marry Yourself" in Canada offers consulting and wedding photography. A website called "IMarriedMe.com" was recently started. There, you'll find sologamy ceremony kits that include a wedding band, daily affirmation cards, and vows. I think it's increased over the years, and it's something that is becoming more understood and more accepted", says one of the companies. Anderson married herself to celebrate independence and believes others should, too.

My friends, love as described in the Bible is quite different from the love that the world accepts as normal! Biblical love is selfless and unconditional, whereas the world's love is characterized by selfishness. Love does not exist apart from God, and true love can only be experienced by one who has experienced God's own love firsthand. Romans 13:9-10, "The commandments, 'Do not commit adultery,' 'Do not murder,' 'Do not steal,' 'Do not covet,' and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law."

The statement "love your neighbor as yourself" is not a command to love yourself. It is natural and normal to love yourself - it is our default position. There is no lack of self-love in our world! The command to "love your neighbor as yourself" is essentially telling us to treat other people as well as we treat ourselves. Scripture never commands us to love ourselves; it assumes we already do. In fact, people in their broken condition love themselves too much - that's our problem! We are to take our eyes off ourselves and care for others. Christian maturity demands it. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Philippians 2:3-4).

According to this passage, loving others requires humility, a valuing of others, and a conscious effort to put others' interests first. Anything less than this is selfish and vain and falls short of the standard of Christ. We love others based on God's abiding love for us in Christ. In response to this love, we share it with all whom we come in contact with - our "neighbors." Someone who is worried that she doesn't love herself enough has the wrong focus. Her concern, biblically, should be her love for God and her love for her neighbor.

"Self" is something we want out of the way so that we can love outwardly as we ought to. Amen?

In His grip, 
Larry